Silent Lover
by yaoirokzthebest
Summary: Kiku Honda has the inability to express himself to the outside. What will happen now that Alfred Jones the Football star player confessed to him? AU the long unofficial hiatus is finally over :
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:  
>I don't own anything of this… that's too bad T_T<strong>

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><p>My name is Kiku Honda, currently fifteen years old, and at the top of the rooftop. Right now, I'm really, really shocked! I'm not the kind of person to show it on my face so people often misunderstands me except for a few. You want to know why I'm shocked? Well Our school football star, Alfred F. Jones, is confessing to me! ME!<p>

"So ugh… did you hear me clearly? I want to ask you if you would go out with me." He looked away embarrassed and blush covering his cheeks. If I don't reply soon he might-

"I'm sorry, if you don't want to! Just forget about this" he started to turn away from me. Wait don't go! I held the back of his shirt to stop him.

"S-sure… I don't mind… to go out" WAAAH! You idiot Kiku! I sound so reluctant! I should've said I'm so happy to go out with you! But even though I sound like that, a bright smile crossed his face

"REALLY? Yes! Don't worry! This hero will be forever by your side!" hero? Whatever… his bright smile is blinding… oh… he started jumping up and down. I can't help but let out a chuckle.

"Hey! You laughed! I'm so awesome that I made you laugh!"

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><p>Watching Jones-san playing American football, while drawing him from outside the art classroom is great. I always watched him here so I can get a better view, and I'm in art class so I have an excuse. I have always admired his smile and expressive eyes, he's also cool unlike me, who don't even have the slightest bit of expression. I was born with the inability to express myself on the outside, it's not a problem until now. Ah! My sketchbook is already filled with his pictures<p>

"Hey Kiku!" Oh… it's Jones-san. Why is he here?

"Do you want to come home with the hero? I have an awesome eyesight that I saw you from the practice field!" Jones-san you're wearing glasses, so it can't be that awesome… wait…he can saw me from there? I-it means he's looking at my direction! My chest feels warm!

"Hey, what are you drawing?" he tapped my sketchbook but before he can see my drawing I hugged it to my chest. He can't see them! It'll be so embarrassing that I'll die!

"Ah! I'm sorry, I wasn't being heroic"

While walking home we stopped at the Mc Donalds when Jones-san said that he was hungry, and wow! He ordered a lot of burgers, at least 15 of them I think. He must have exercise a lot; I ordered some chocolate milk drink. We sat at the table near the window

"Ya know kiku, I didn't expect you to say yes at all! I'm heroic and stuff but yeah…" He's smile is so dazzling, and that should be my line. I didn't expect you to ask me to go out with you at all!

"Hey do you like sweet stuff?" he asked me motioning at my choco. I nodded, I have a certain liking to sweet and salty stuffs

"You have a sweet tooth like me?" he looked like as if Christmas came early

"Yes"

"I'll remember that! You look like the kind of person that hides secret, not that I think that you're a villain or something cuz you're really cool! I'm just excited to find things about you may it be small or big" He gave me another smile. He looked so happy just knowing that. Maybe I should jot down some things that I like and give it to him? Hmm…

After eating at Mc Donalds we went to a store to buy a few things. We went on our own ways inside the store since it's just small. I noticed something at the phone strap selection, it's an American football ball. Maybe I should by it for Jones-san?

"What are you looking at?" I jumped at the voice, it was just Jones-san

"Football? You like football don't you, since you always look from the window? I'm a hero so I should buy it for you!" EH! I was thinking to give it to you as a present, and I'm always looking from the window so I can see you! He took it and went to the cashier to pay for it and gave it to me.

"Here! As a memory of us dating!"

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><p>The next day to school I put it on my bag since I don't have any cellphone. It inadvertently became my treasure, and somehow I feel like a girl. Jones-san suddenly appeared beside me (how did he do that?)<p>

"Hey Kiku! Morning, you're up early"

"You too…" lame! Too lame!

"You always come to school this early? I always have morning practice at this time, and besides a hero should never be late!" He pumped his fist

"I want to avoid rush hour" I said quietly, did he hear it?

"I see" he noticed the phone strap

" Ah! That's the… did you really like it?" he sounded uncertain. Of course I liked it! It's from Jones-san! He smiled once again

" That's good! I thought I was getting ahead of myself and forced you to accept it. I'm a hero and a hero should never force someone else!"

"No way" there's no way I could think it like that. You didn't force me to anything. Why am I so bad at expressing myself?

"Anyway, isn't that a phone strap?"

"Yeah, but I don't own any phone."

"Huh! You're kidding me!" he exclaimed "Why not?"

"Well, I don't talk much anyway" I'm so pathetic, and I hate this part of me "Even if I had one, I wouldn't use it"

Jones-san bended down to my height

"Did you just get down just now?" huh? He noticed?

"Ya know, from the first glance you look expressionless, but at a closer look you look quite expressive" He had a gentle look on his face that made me believe what he said. Jones-san is the first person to actually say that to me.

"Ya know, I always wondered why you're so unsociable… it bugged me; so that's why I keep on watching you… but I think I'm starting to understand you, just a bit though" Since when did he start on watching me? My cheeks suddenly feel warm

"Were you blushing just now?" he too have a little blush on his cheeks "That's side of you… is really.." his voice became low and husky. Before I knew it he was kissing me! He finally pulled away from the kiss, I kinda feel disappointed but my face is flaming red. My hand instinctually covered my mouth

"HAHA! You're face is all red! I really like that side of you" he said the last part a little lower than his normal voice

"See ya!" He ran away to school "My practice is starting."

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><p>I was kissed by Jones-san… he's so BOLD! I didn't know if anyone saw that.<p>

"Kiku! Kiku ve~!" huh? It's Vargas sensei… even with his eyes closed, his face is showing concern, I wonder how he do that, and how can he see with his eyes closed.

"You haven't drawn anything at all ve~ if you want you can skip classes, and take siestas! Here I have pasta with me do you want some? I brought them for Luddy but I forgot to put some wurst and Luddy won't eat it without them, so I'm giving it to you ve~!"

"No thank you, Sensei" Luddy? That's a cute name for Ludwig-sensei

"You don't like pasta ve~? They're so delicious and yummy and you will feel very happy if you eat them~" Sensei suddenly asked all of his students if they want pasta and telling them the wonders of pasta that it should be in the seven wonders of the world. When sensei is finally away I sighed, I was supposed to do my outdoor sketch but I'm so distracted by the kiss! I finally packed my materials, ready to go home after this, I didn't get to walk with Jones-san since he's busy with football. Oh well, there's always tomorrow.

As soon as I got home I went to my room, after all there's so many homework. I opened my bag to see that my strap is not here! The strap is not here! I must have lost it by the river! Why do I have to be distratcted! I immediately took the flashlight and run to the riverside.

I still had it while doing my sketch so it has to be somewhere here… I searched and searched but it's impossible, it's too dark.

Tomorrow,

Tomorrow when it's brighter I'll come and look for it again.

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><p>The next day, it seems that Jones-san really have an amazing eyesight since he noticed the lack of the phone strap<p>

"Where's your strap?"

"I uhh…" Think Kiku! Think! "I hanged it in my bedroom"

"ohh… I see" I wonder if he's mad? As soon as after class I ran all the way to the riverside to go search for it. I heard Jones-san looking for me ,but I was already at the gate so I continued my anyway.

Five days have passed and still can't find the phone strap, I keep on avoiding Jones-san too since I'm scared he might get mad. Chikusho! If this continues I have tosearch for it thoroughly for the whole weekend!

"Kiku, are you avoiding me?" it's not the reason you're thinking though! "Ever since _that day _you'd go home by yourself, and you don't want to look at me in the eye. Did you really hate it when I kissed you?" he has this pensive face on, but I don't feel that way, he's misunderstanding something here

"You know, now that I've think about it, the day after that happened, you stopped using your phone strap." It's not like that! Not like that at all!

"I thought you were hard to understand at first, but I guess you're pretty easy to figure out" No! You're wrong!

"I know it's my fault that I did that out of blue, but you don't have to avoid me like this" I have to say it! I have to say that it's just a misunderstanding! Hurry Kiku!

"…umm…"

"Why… aren't you saying anything?" Jones-san started to walk away, please don't walk away… I didn't say anything because you made a scary face that I was shocked, and I didn't know where to start talking… I'm sorry…

As soon as I got out of school I went straight to the Riverside… when I find it, I'll explain as soon as I can…

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><p><strong>Woo! One chapter done! If you don't know, this came from bukiyou na silent! It's really an amazing yaoi manga! I recommend it! Haha! I made Feli-chan the teacher, I would love him as a teacher but I love Lovi-chan more! Please read and review!<strong>

**See you next chapter!**

**Ciao!**


	2. Chapter 2

I am so sorry! I haven't updated in what? One year and one month…. Those past few months I was busy with exams and whatnot, and when I got my free time it seems that my mind was so drained I couldn't write a thing until I have forgotten about this story… But worry not, I will update this story whenever I can and it wouldn't take a year to do that… I'll try my best with every other week…

Thank you and I still don't own anything.

Hurriedly I went to the water bank, but it seems that someone may have already picked it up. I don't know what to do, if I won't be able to find the strap then… A-Alfred-san might… never forgive me after all. I felt my eyes sting and something wet touched my cheeks.

"Huh" Am I… Crying?

If I could flex my muscles, then I might be wearing a wry smile… It's at times like this that I feel so pathetic, being troubled by a phone strap.

I wiped my cheeks. If it would end up like this, I should have said it right from the start that I lost it. If only I could say "I got so sad that I lost it and didn't know what to do." Or that I got so distrtacted after the kiss that I lost it… I have said those words then this wouldn't happen. Incidentally, I saw my reflection on the water and stared at myself. A blank face looking straight at me, hding the turmoil that is raging inside, for not able to do something that everyone is able to by saying to myself that it is something inevitable for I have been born like this.

More tears fell and I just gave up, after depressing myself and I gingerly walked away.

"Toono?" I heard someone call my name and looked up only to find Alfred-san staring at me and I stopped at the middle of the slope "I finally found ya!" I noticed that his shirt is printed with a text 'Hamburger Hero'

I took a little bit step backward and it was too late when I realized that it was an uneven ground. I really wanted to hit myself hard, when I slipped. I closed my eyes expecting a very intimate meeting of my skull and the ground when I felt Alfred-san wrapped himself around me to protect me. I could feel my face heating as much as it can do. Is this still considered as proper?

"That's dangerous Kiku!" he exclaimed as he helped me up, then winked at me "Good thing that the hero is here!" then his face suddenly became somber

"I wanted to apologize to you" Apologize to me? I should be the one doing that! "I called your home… and they said that you had been coming here everyday" I could feel tears flowing on my cheeks again… maybe I'm becoming old, since my tear glands are getting weak. If it would not be rude to do it, I would have hugged Alfred-san right now but instead I could feel my legs give out, and shown my shameful side.

"I-I… I lost it" I finally said it though my voice is shaking so badly, Alfred seeing me cry is already fussing "the phone strap… when I was sketching here" By now Alfred kneeled, evidently not knowing what to do with a crying person such as myself "I knew I should have just told you… but I didn't know what to do… Gomenasai… You must think that I'm am such an idiot"

"Umm.. please don't cry" Alfred-san sounded desperate "I don't know what to do with a crying person! Oh man! Umm.. Kiku, some on, don't cry anymore" He awkwardly patted me at the back. I immediately bowed at him while kneeling to apologize "I'm sorry for the disturbance that I caused"

Alfred-san looked flustered "No problem man, just don't cry okay? I'm lost at what I should do"

After that fiasco at the riverside, Alfred-san invited me to his home, I couldn't refuse and I could take this chance to repent myself. He led me to his room, and it looked so… Alfred. Skateboard, papers, posters of football players and a uniform hanged on the wall. He grinned shyly

"Sorry if it's a mess"

"I should be the one sorry for intruding" I said to him. He told me to sit on the bed, which I refused but since there is no chair inside, he insisted, so I sat on it while thinking if sitting on someone's bed is considered rude with or without consent.

"So…" he started awkwardly "Calmed down now?"

"Hai…"

"So you lost the phone and look for it… that I understood, but why did you cry just because of a strap?" It's not just a strap Alfred, It's something I got from you…

"Hey" Alfred-san sat beside me, he is showing seriousness that he seldom expresses "Why did you actually to go out with me?"

"Eh?" There's only one reason for that

"Although, I did say that I understood a little from your expressions, but I think I wouldn't fully understand unless you tell me." No matter how much I think about it what Alfred-san said was right. Even if I think about him day and night, there's no meaning if I don't tell him… But what can I do so that he may understand my feeling completely?

…

"Ah" Well… there is that… I rummaged what inside my bag and found two identical sketch pads, I gave one to him "If you wouldn't mind please look at this"

"Your sketchbook?" he asked, confused since I told him that I didn't want my sketches to be looked at. I watched in anticipation as he looked pages after pages his face growing bright red.

"Kiku…" my heart seems to thump louder "I already know that I really like you and I had no qualms at kissing you or doing 'adult' stuff with you, cause that's really awesome for me…" Confused I looked at the page he was l blushed in deep embarrassment as I saw two guys kissing… The one that I gave him is the one full of guys making out or simply kissing. I snatched it away from his shaking hands and gave him the right sketchbook. I will be surprised that even after all these things I experienced today, my face muscles still won't change. His eyes widen as he looked at the sketched… I do hope that I gave him the right one this time.

"C-Could it be… that everything in this sketchbook is all… me?" his face even redder than before

"I still have about 10 more at home"

His eyes widened at that, blushing deep red he asked me "Could it be that you like me to some extent?"

"I…" this is my chance to talk "I… really like you" for some reason, there are strange butterflies in my stomach "I've liked you ever since we were sophomores…" to actually say something like this… I couldn't believe that I'm saying things like this! So embarrassing! "That's why when you said that you liked me, I was happ-itte!" I covered my face and accidentally bit my tounge… this kind of thing… I think I won't be able to do it again. When I opened my eyes, his face is closing onto mine, his eyes so amazingly blue.

"You're so adorable… Kiku" and we kissed

For those who reviewed, followed, favourited thank you so much…! I cannot even fanthom how sorry I am by not updating this sooner!


	3. Chapter 3

**So sorry for not updating for a long time... last last week I was confined in the hospital for five days, then after that I was in bed rest. Then this last Saturday, I took my college admission test which i think I did bad. It was a seven hour exam. SEVEN HOURS OF TORTURE! then I'm actually banned from usiong the computer but Mama forgot to hide the computer before she go to work so XD... but still... I'm banned from using the computer so slower updates... SORRY... **

**Actually I'm going to ask you to pray for the Philippines, the country where i live, because disaster strikes once again. There is non stop rain here for days (Hard rains) and in many part of the Philippines the water already reached their ceilings (I am one of the lucky ones who are located at the higher parts of the Phil) and at some even higher than that, and people are staying on their roofs under the hard rain, so please pray for these people safeties. There are many landslides that killed many people that already occured, so please...**

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><p>You probably can't tell from looking at me, but looking out from the classroom window looking at Alfred-san getting chummy with a girl, I am rather in a foul mood. The girl is someone I've never seen before and rather beautiful with her flowing brown hair that has an orange flower and green eyes. I looked at Alfred-san's handsome figure and the woman's beautiful face… They really look good together….<p>

…. Such a depressing thought….

I gingerly took out my sketchpad when somebody opened the door

"Hello!" It's… the woman from the outside "I'm here to observe! Is that alright?"

"Um…. Here to observe?" I asked as she looked around

"I just transferred here last week so I'm going around observing different clubs." She said "Where are the other members?" Ah… so she's a transfer student, no wonder I never saw her before.

"There are a lot of phantom members in our club, they may or may not come depending on the day

She seems to be full of joy and smile, so unlike me "That means you're a junior, right? I'm Elizabeta Hedervary from class three, just call me Lizzy!" C-class three? The same as Alfred-san!

"I'm Kiku Honda from class one, Yoroshiku onegaishimasu"

For some reason she seemed delighted "Oh! A Japanese person, just perfect!" She had that weird glint in her eyes like she's plotting something… and it scares me. She looked at the window

"Wow! You can see the grounds clearly from here." Then "Alfred!" She waved at him and, and, and… he waved back…

- Scene change-

Alfred-san and I were walking when I asked her about Elizabeta-san

"Ah… yeah, Elizabeta Hedervary. Not just the class, but all the guys in school have their eyes on her. Well, She is rather cute" For some reason something inside me hurt when he complimented her like that… Not just she isn't pretty, it just that…

"I heard she's been in some magazine modeling contests too" Is she really that popular?! What should I do? Even Alfred-san thinks she's cute, and she is in Alfred-san's class too…

"kiss" A-A-A-Alfred-san s-s-suddenly kissed me on the cheeks. Is something like public display on affection okay?!

Alfred-san smiled at me "But I have you so I'm not interested in her" I felt blood rush in much cheeks. How did he know when I didn't say anything… He really understands me…

-scene change-

"I don't know what to do." Elizabeta-san suddenly said as we were drawing inside the Art Room

"About what?"

"I don't know whether to be the manager for the football team or join the arts club"

"Manager?"

"Yeah. I really like to draw, but I was the manager for the football team at my old school so it's kinda hard for me to just leave it, but doing the same thing is kind of boring…" Manager? The football team's ace working with such a cute manager has to be the most dangerous situation there is!

"Oh, It's Alfred. Alfred!" Not again!

"Elizabeta-san, you seem to get along with Alfred-san"

"Hm? Oh, that's because we are in the same class. He is the quarterback, right? He really stands out and also good looking. He is perfect for…" She trailed off and looked at me strangely for some reason

"And you, the quiet type… It's just so perfect!" what is perfect? I don't understand at all!

"Aww…. You're blushing, so cute!" Elizabeta-san so nice… What should I do if she really likes Alfred-san?

Elizabeta-san is really popular, everyone is talking to her and most of the time, with Alfred-san too. She really is outgoing, and cute and most of all… she's a girl…

"Hey" Elizabeta-san suddenly said "Where can I get that sketchbook you always use? It seems really nice to draw on! Maybe I'll buy just one like it."

"I can buy for you next time"

"Really? Thanks!" She then left, probably going to the football team. If a girl like her seriously falls for Alfred-san, I will definitely lose…

I went out from the Art Room after an hour or so when I heard familiar voices

"Give me your hand!" It sound like Elizabeta-san

"I said it fine." And Alfred-san? I went to where the voices came from. It was Alfred-san and Elizabeta-san and a little people were crowding around them

"I'm fine, it's only twisted a little" Alfred-san is injured?

"Don't say that and leave it to me! I'm good at taping things up" When she held Alfred-san's hand and wrapped it I… I don't know, I felt like something pinched my heart.

"Elizabeta, just be our manager! Are you still torn between this and the art club?" another player asked

"Yeah. Okay, it done!"

"Thanks!"

"Hey Alfred, say something too! Wouldn't it be a load off our shoulders if Elizabeta became our manager?"

"I guess so" Alfred-san… "and if Lizzy becomes our manager the atmosphere gets a lot brighter too"

"Then I might join because Alfred wants me too"

…

That's all I really need to hear. Alfred-san does like Elizabeta-san, I dashed away from the painful scene. It's weird, my heart really hurts a lot. They suit each other and they always look like they're happy together. I went to an empty room, the pain in my heart worsening. What am I suppose to do? She's… She's going to steal Alfred-san away from me.

-scene change-

"Elizabeta-san, here's the sketchbook I promised you" I gave her the sketchbook that I promised her inside her classroom, even after what happened, a promise is still a promise and it's rude to back down from it.

"Elizabeta-san, have you already decided?" From the corner of my eyes I could see Alfred-san

"Nope. I still can't really"

"If you still don't know which to pick, come join the arts club" I don't know what am saying, it is not like me to talk without thinking.

"You're good at drawing, Elizabeta-san. So if you like to draw I think it's a waste otherwise" I can't believe that I'm saying these things because I don't want her to be the manager of the football team.

"Why?" huh? Why? Did she figure it out, did she already know the reason? I started trembling

"Ah, It's nothing" I'm such a terrible and horrible person. Out of my shame, I ran away "S-sorry, f-forget it"

"Kiku!" It's terribly rude of me to ran away but I can't help but do so. After running for a while I slowed down panting. That was really embarrassing! I'm such an idiot. Even if they are in different clubs, they are still in the same class.

"Kiku!" That voice…

"Wait up, Kiku!" Why did Alfred-san follow me and he looked quite troubled.

"What was the meaning of that? What you did just now..." huh? He held my shoulders. What is going on?

"Don't tell me… that you're" What is he mad about again? "Do you like Elizabeta?" HUH? What…

"You never show much reaction to anything but you…" What is he saying? "Turned bright red like that and you usually don't bother to talk to girls" Me? Like Elizabeta-san? HUH? But more importantly why is he so angry? Can it be that…

"You always look so happy talking to her…"

Alfred-san really has fallen for Elizabeta-san and, and…

"And then you even invited her to join the art club"

Bow we are not together anymore…

"Hey! Hey! Kiku? Kiku! Are you listening?"

And he thinks that I'm his rival in love? No! This isn't funny!

"Say something!"

"What are you talking about?" Tears are dropping from my eyes. Alfred-san likes Elizabeta-san "You're the only one I like, there's no way I would fall for someone else. I don't understand why you're so mad…" I like him and not Elizabeta-san so he shouldn't be worried that I'm taking her away from him "I didn't want Elizabeta-san to be your manager cause then you'd be in the same class and the same club as her…" I'm acting horrible even in front of Alfred-san

"I-I'm sorry that I yelled at you" he uttered, was I really that horrible that I made him say sorry? More tears came out from my eyes "What do I do? I didn't mean to say all those things, but I can't stop anymore.

"Don't cry! Hey! Making someone cry is not heroic so please don't cry!"

"You would just forget about me!"

-scene change-

As we went home Alfred-san is pulling my hand

"Geez… How the hell did thing get mixed up like this" he grumbled under his breath but I could still hear him "Even thinking we were fighting over the same girl"

I never thought that Alfred-san would get jealous over me, I don't have that kind of self-confidence.

"I pretty much did the same thing as you… You know when I asked Elizabeta to be our manager"

"Huh" what does he mean by that?

"I didn't think that you would overhear me. I just didn't want her to join the art club"

I've thought so before, but our problem is that we don't communicate with each other enough, but that's probably mostly my fault.

"Alfred-san, I'm sorry that I'm no good at expressing my feelings for you" I looked down at the ground

"It's not just you, I'm not very good at it either"

"Huh?"

He looked at me "Cause ya still don't understand just how much I love you"

"I…" I blushed "I don't think that you're bad at all" and I openly accepted it as he kissed me

-next day-

"Huh?" Alfred-san suddenly exclaimed at what Elizabeta-san said, even I was in shock.

"You guys are together now right because I can see a hickey on Kiku's neck! Wow, you guys move so fast! Can I take a picture of you two kissing, pretty, pretty please?" What is Elizabeta-san saying?

"What do you mean by that?!" Alfred-san more or less demanded

Elizabeta-san smiled confidently "Oh please, it's so obvious that you guys got a thing with each other!" suddenly her phone rings "Oh wait a minute. Hello Roddy! Huh, that idiot again! Okay sure. Love you" she dialed another number "Hey you stupid Gilbert, stop bothering my Roderich or I'm going to bash your head with my pan!" she huffed then pocketed her phone again. "If you are going to have another hot smexy sex just call me!" then she went away.

"Man, I never thought that she likes things like those. Oh well" he hugged me from behind "At least everything is clear now"

I guess I have to work harder so we can understand each other more, because I really do love him.

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><p><strong>Thanks, so please read and review and pray for the Philippines!<strong>


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